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WRITTEN BY LASSE CATO
We produce a lot of films here at Bacon. We think most of them are good. Some are even great. But we are, of course, biased. So to get an honest opinion, we've decided to ask some of the most notoriously unimpressed people we know to review a selection of our films. This is the second edition of Unimpressed People Review Our Work.
THE REVIEWER: ALFRED HØJGAARD KJELDSEN
7-year-old Alfred is in the first grade at a private school in Copenhagen and is the son of our CFO, Tomas.
Alfred lives at home with his parents and older brother. He likes to play LEGO games and Minecraft on his Playstation and to watch cartoons and Nerf gun battles on YouTube. However, he is not impressed with the overwhelming amount of time he is expected to spend at school, all the annoying commercials he has to wait through on YouTube, or the fact that his father works for a company making the very commercials he is trying to avoid.
To get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, we asked Alfred to watch and review some of our own favorite films from the last couple of months. We recommend watching the films first to fully enjoy Alfred's unfiltered thoughts.
Our description:
Visual and musical references to the early 2000's queue up in an equally satirical and catchy music video.
Who's the director?
Holger Karberg.
What does Alfred think?
"Ah come on, you can't be serious! I'll give this two thumbs sort-of-down because nothing happens, and it's not really funny. It reminds me of a Christmas song. I really don't think anyone will like this. If I had the choice between watching this or a screen with nothing on it, I would choose the black screen."
⮑ Emil & Peter / Ude af mine hænder
⮑ The Danish Cancer Society & Trygfonden / Smoke-free Future
Our description:
In an effort to prevent future generations from smoking, this spot tries a new approach.
Who's the director?
Martin Werner.
What does Alfred think?
"Smoke-free future, huh? I think that there will be flying cars in the future. Anyway, I'm never going to start smoking, because it's dangerous. For instance, if you are in a car and you are smoking, the smoke might get in your eyes and you could end up in a car accident. I'd say that it's a decent commercial because it's a good idea to hide your smoking from your kids. However, if I had made the commercial, I would have incorporated a man who actually died."
⮑ Plastic Change / Plastic People
Our description:
A romantic day at the beach turns into a dystopian reality in this viral spot for an international environmental organization.
Who's the director?
Ida Andreasen.
What does Alfred think?
“Is this even on YouTube? I've never seen it on there. The music was eerie, and the film was really gross and strange because of all those people who were caught in plastic. I thought it was crazy and a bit scary, because maybe someone died from all that plastic… Even though I know it was just film tricks.”
⮑ Lindstrøm / On a Clear Day I Can See You Forever
Our description:
A short film inspired by the music from Norwegian musician Lindstrøm's new album.
Who's the director?
Kasper Häggström.
What does Alfred think?
"First of all, it's a weird title. Second of all, the music is a cheap copy of the Minecraft song. But as a whole, the movie was both scary, exciting, good and funny. It was really funny when he stuck the arrows in his ass – also gross because it means that ass bacteria gets all on the arrows, but mostly funny. The only thing I would have changed was to show the airplane actually crashing, with some dead people and skeletons."
⮑ adidas x Wood Wood / Get Lost
Our description:
Poetry meets sportswear in this spot for a new women's running collection.
Who's the director?
Nina Holmgren.
What does Alfred think?
"This one would be hard to explain to my friends because I didn't really understand it. It must have been made by someone who really likes artistic things. A bit boring. I mean, I get that the story was that the world is upside-down, but it was told in a weird way. I think they should have shown people walking on the clouds and jumping from cloud to cloud to really get the story through."
⮑ The Minds of 99 / Som Fluer
Our description:
Danish band The Minds of 99's latest video is a heart gripping tale of friendship and mortality.
Who's the director?
Martin Werner.
What does Alfred think?
"This was a good one, but also a little scary. Mostly because he wore a shirt with blood on it and kind of looked like the guy from 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. And then there were those kids who looked like they were attempting suicide. I think that this video really appeals to teenagers who watch YouTube every day."
⮑ VITA / Take Time to See Your Beauty
Our description:
The images do the talking in this spot for Norway's largest cosmetic chain.
Who's the director?
Emilie Thalund.
What does Alfred think?
"No talking at all in this one. It was pretty shitty, because it was a commercial for beauty products. It's not really something that I like. I have no idea what the story was, and it seemed to be mostly about naked bodies. But there are probably a lot of girls who would really like this commercial."
"It reminds me of a Christmas song. I really don't think anyone will like this. If I had the choice between watching this or a screen with nothing on it, I would choose the black screen."
"Anyway, I'm never going to start smoking, because it's dangerous."
"It must have been made by someone who really likes artistic things. A bit boring."
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